7. The Anomalies: The ABC's Of Anger Management
(This is an excerpt from a University Of Metaphysical Sciences course at www.umsonline.org,
please feel free to visit the school website)
While this particular section might be partitioned under Mnemonic Devices, it also deals extensively with changing behavior. It warrants its own section because it contradicts much of the prevalent theories behind anger management. It could be merely discounted if the author, Newton Hightower, of the book Anger Busting 101 and the strategy (The ABC’s of Anger Management) had not received more endorsements from anger management counselors and patients than all other current literature combined. Such praise from those “in the field” merits attention to its practice and methods, but its contradictory premise requires that it be set apart in order to keep from co-mingling with other behavioral or mnemonic approaches.
The ABC’s of anger management are specifically for those who have become “addicted” to their anger or rage. In Newton’s terms, anyone who’s gotten to the point of needing counseling, unless they have a problem not expressing their anger is usually addicted. Like the laboratory mice who keep going back for more despite the consequences, the chemical changes, the adrenalin rush, the emotional accelerations have become an addiction. The signs that anger has become addictive, are:
- Self Stimulation: The more anger that is expressed, the more it builds and the more intense it becomes.
- Compulsion: The inability to stop the anger/rage once it has begun.
- Obsession: Becoming obsessed with revenge fantasies or preoccupations with mentally replaying anger.
- Denial: Denying a serious anger problem, especially by justifying/pointing out another’s anger.
- Withdrawal and Craving: Not engaging in anger leads to depression, vulnerability or feelings of weakness and “losing identity.”
Newton contradicts the notion that anger needs to be expressed. This flies in the face of most prevalent theories from the sixties onward, that anger can be expressed effectively or positively. He directly contradicts the Build Up/Blow Up approaches to anger resolution. He refers to the cathartic approach of the “express yourself” and “let it all out” attitudes. This experience he dismisses as potentially satisfying, but having no lasting effect on reducing anger outbursts. The other refers to the idea that, like a pressure cooker, letting off steam in appropriate ways keeps it all from exploding. Newton’s premise is that we leave the lid on the pressure cooker, keep the valve closed, but turn off the fire underneath it.
The ABC’s of an anger-addicted person (“rage-a-holic” in Newton’s terms) are Anger, Blame and Criticism. These ABC’s pattern the subject’s relationships. Briefly, Anger at others and circumstances, Blaming other’s and circumstances for failures and Criticism of others as a means of justifying behavior. The “new” ABC’s espoused are Abstaining, Believing and Communicating. Note: Each of the ABC’s have up to 18 steps or behaviors to them. Included are only a few to demonstrate the thrust of the strategy.