Observation
(This is an excerpt from a University Of Metaphysical Sciences course at www.umsonline.org,
please feel free to visit the school website)
In addition to the types of observation noted elsewhere in this course, practicing observation of others, (and especially children) offers us many opportunities to raise our conscious awareness of behavior. Children in particular are very good at “telegraphing” their needs and attempting to get them in rather unsubtle ways. Their tone of voice, body language and tactics all are imitations of what they have seen and learned. They are, as yet, awkward and transparent enough to provide some obvious clues and insights into our own behavior. Children are, at least while in the toddler and preschool level, very apparent when they are practicing such tactics.
Relating more to child studies rather than anger, Fessbach, in Anger Management, (1963), provided interesting observations of a child’s imitative behaviors. This form of observation can be extremely insightful, especially as the behavior has not yet been integrated into personality or subverted into the unconscious levels of reactive anger reflex. While the compassion, sensitivity and empathy of children appears to be a natural and spontaneous event, anger and aggressive behaviors have to be learned. In The Transforming Power of Anger (1991), Freeman relates the studies of Dr. Rene Spitz and Dr. Grotjahn regarding importance of smiling to overall health and development of babies. Grotjahn states, “The little faces of babies who do not smile because they live without hope and faith convey more breath-taking tragedy than the human eye wishes to behold. All of these infants seem to express the intent to murder if given strength and the opportunity.”
While this observation is subjective, the follow-up studies are not. Many of the “never-smiling” babies who had lost their mothers either developed a schizophrenic psychosis later in life or simply gave up and died in the hospital. Their facial expressions had been correctly interpreted by the observers; their fate was accurately predicted. While not everyone has lost their mother in the literal sense, perhaps something of losing that security and sense of mother love plays a role in establishing the anger defense, even if the mother is simply neglectful or too busy all the time.
Observation is meant to be discreet, especially when observing adults, and should be more like practiced awareness of people rather than strict “observation.” Through it we can rekindle our own sensitivity and insight into our own unthinking responses and reactions that we take as an unpredictable “given.”