(This is an excerpt from a University Of Metaphysical Sciences course at www.umsonline.org, please feel free to visit the school website)
Written by Katy Wilson, M.D.
Introduction
This
is the written form of the two hour class I usually give in person. If
you become inspired to add a mindfulness practice into your own life,
you may wish to start by setting aside 15 minutes per day. Experiment
to see what combination of activities provide you with the most useful
experiences (yoga, exercise, meditation, tai chi, reflecting on various
topics, reading or writing funny material, listening to your favorite
music, walking in nature, etc.) You will find that even though stress
is a normal reaction to today’s era of fast paced living, it can be
dealt with through various methods. First, let us look at what
stress is.
What Is Stress?
Stress
can be defined as any change to which you have to adapt. Some say that
the pace of change in modern society is accelerating and hence the
amount of stress we are bombarded with is also accelerating. Clearly
there are some stressors that we cannot avoid (see below) in which case
we can focus on how best to cope. There are many stressors that we can
have some impact on (minimize, reduce, eliminate, avoid, anticipate,
plan for, decrease frequency/intensity of… and some stressors that we
bring on ourselves (unrealistic expectations, negative thoughts,
catastrophisizing…). (more on this in “CBT” section). It is how we cope with/react to it that determines how it affects us.
How we experience stress depends on a number of individual factors such
as our personality, beliefs, past experiences, current life situation,
physical health, quality of our relationships, number of commitments
and responsibilities we carry, our perceptions of others and
expectations others have of us, number of traumatic events...
Some scientists define stress as any force that impairs the stability
of the system and causes the system to respond in order to re-establish
homoeostasis.
Common Stressors: (in no particular order)
- conflict w/boss, co-workers, clients
- death of a loved one
- hunger, thirst, fatigue, sleep deprivation (dehydration causes nausea, fatigue, headaches, dizziness, dry mouth; sleep deprivation causes irritability, poor concentration, drowsiness; hunger causes drowsiness, irritability)
- relationship discord/dissatisfaction with spouse
- conflicts w/in-laws, children, parents, friends
- acute illness or injury in self or loved one
- chronic illness or pain in self or loved one
- being “out-of-shape” (de-conditioned) (causes increased fatigue, pain, poor posture, increased risk of injury and pain and illnesses, increased likelihood of self-esteem and body image difficulties: all of these things can lead to irritability, depressed mood, anxiety…
- being a parent or caregiver
- substance abuse (intoxication and withdrawal) (even caffeine has substantial effects on the body including increased “stress response” effects like heart rate, respiratory rate, alertness, insomnia, increase tendency toward anxiety and irritability… HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) as states which trigger substance use)
- losing a friend or family member
- financial
- moving
- sell, buy, refinance, remodel, build a home
- job change (termination, promotion, layoff)
- sexual difficulties, marriage, divorce, separation
- retirement
- pregnancy, gaining a new family member
- habit of always running late (and setting oneself up for added stress; an excellent antidote is to change your morning routine and arrive at work 15 minutes early and use 10 of those minutes organizing your work day—this will help minimize time spent stressed during the day wondering what to work on next; practice arriving places early and using the extra time to relax, read, daydream, practice mindfulness, etc.)
- wondering/worrying about what other people are thinking
- taking on too many obligations (another common and changeable stressor… especially seems common for women to have a difficult time saying “no” and setting boundaries and limits on their time and not leaving enough time for self-care (exercise, relaxation, play, sleep, meals) and time with closest loved ones)
- having unrealistic expectations for yourself
- having unrealistic expectations for others
- being overly sensitive to criticism, being perfectionistic
- being pessimistic
- lacking self-contentment
- caffeine withdrawal: (see also reference list): nausea, muscle stiffness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, restlessness, headaches, chills/hot flashes, fatigue; note that caffeine use causes diuresis/dehydration, anxiety, jitteriness, facial flushing, tachycardia, diaphoresis, osteoporosis, twitching, tremor, agitation and even seizures)
Negative
emotions and thoughts can themselves cause the stress response.
Examples of negative (“unpleasant”) emotions include fear, anger,
jealousy, disappointment, shame, embarrassment, failure, restless,
impatience, numbness, irritability… More examples of negative thoughts
will be discussed later in the CBT section.
Some
psychologists emphasize the word CHANGE on lists of stressors. For
example: have you experienced a significant CHANGE in the amount of
time you spend caring for others? Have you experienced a significant
CHANGE in the number of hours you work? Others add the idea that even
positive change (wedding, birth of child, promotion…causes stress.
Take a moment to think about what your current stressors are and
reflect on which ones are modifiable; you may want to jot them down
and/or circle the ones above that may apply to you. This will be
included in the exercise section.